Sunday, August 30, 2015

Okily-Patchily, Updaterinos!

It's too bad I don't have an administrative assistant or it might have been brought to my attention sooner that computer games no longer have patches. Just "updates" - because you see, nothing needs fixing in our product. Ever! Everything is always "working as intended" by divine decree.
Now, I'm sure that in whatever B-movie corporate public relations boardroom this policy was first decreed by some lickspittle communications major, it was met with a rousing (but not too rousing) chorus of applause from the soft-headed soft language crowd. I mean, it sounds like the perfect, low-key dodge. You'll never have to admit anything is wrong ever again. It's like something Ned Flanders would say.
Until you realize what you're actually telling us: that the concept of filling in the countless gaps and bugs and delivering on your Kickstarter campaign promises is an "update" to you. The very notion of a functional product constitutes this brave new world, uncharted territory, a miracle breakthrough. This just in, people: we might actually try making our game playable!

Custodial (game) engineering at its finest.

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