Thursday, August 20, 2015

Kaleidoscopes Are Pretty but Meaningless

"Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?"

Radiohead - Creep

Prime World's conflated skill/item system (dubbed "talents") comes in the usual rainbow-sprinkle color scheme we've all memorized by rote a decade ago, in four categories.
Green talents are not as good as blue -
- which are not as good as purple -
- which are not as good as orange.
A little while ago they released the fifth category of red talents which, wonder of wonders, are even better than orange talents! Drooling fanboys and girls began tripping over each other to see all the wondrous new gameplay possibilities they could unlock by increasing their stats 5% - to fight other drooling cretins who have also just increased their stats 5%.

Apropos of nothing, some of my proudest moments involve getting kicked out of online game guilds as soon as I join them, like, say, the worthless morons in one LotRO guild who kicked me out because I wouldn't let them enjoy their latest item upgrade by pointing out that they were using an item with 10% more stats to fight monsters with 10% more stats, that nothing had in fact changed.

We really need to kick this idiocy upside its head. Stop tolerating the worthless, mindless little vermin who can't see that every increase is just part of the endless treadmill. Thanks to World of Warcraft and its ilk an entire generation has grown up creaming its pants at the color "purpoh" and the very concept of perspective has been almost eliminated from games. Here's Prime World's latest patch:
"all green (special) talents stop dropping in battle as well as in the castle: they are removed from battle rewards, from the Inn / Teahouse rewards; they can no longer be created at the Talent Garden / Forge or attained by other methods.
All present green (special) talents at the moment in players’ libraries or on heroes will become blue (rare). Their power contribution and attributes will increase accordingly to the level of blue (rare) talents.

I cite this game in particular because they managed to linguistically trip into the precise center of the nail's head, perfectly encapsulating the stupidity of the leveling / item farming treadmill we're forced to run to play any multiplayer game these days. Green ("special") items have been eliminated from the game. There are no longer any special items in Prime World. Nothing is special when everything's special. It's like every pack of knuckledraggers calling themselves game designers are imitating The Incredibles' cackling villain saying "when everyone's super, no-one will be." Rarity on the other hand is now redefined as commonalty. Literally, rare items in Prime World are now the lowest, most common kind.

You fucking retards.

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