Tuesday, August 11, 2015

It's Totally Cyber, as the Kids Say

It may be hard to imagine at this point but there was a time, long, long ago when CSI actually had some ambition of being the most "realistic" police procedural. That lasted about one season out of fifteen. This was before they ramped up the drah-mah, before the lab geeks started waving glocks around instead of test-tubes and tackling mobsters in perpetually midnighty alleyways. It was long before the spin-offs started, CSI: Bikinis and CSI: Sopranos and what was the third one?

Oh yeah, CSI: Kids Are Scary.
I had the displeasure of watching about half an episode of this latest pig glorification recently (the cyber-bullying episode, assuming there was just one) and was struck by how completely they've re-targeted their audience. Ignore, if you can, that the script seemed to consist mostly of shoehorning the word "cyber" into every single sentence. The cyber-perp cyber-hacked the cyber-victim's cyber-computer via (what else) cyber-spaaaaaaace! I'm more amused that a franchise originally marketed to technophiles presumably of the younger generations now seems to have somehow morphed into Reefer Madness. Images flit across the screen of dimly-lit rooms viewed through a smoky, opioid haze. In them, teenagers hunch Quasimodo-like over sonorous keyboards, wild-eyed and vicious, like witches and warlocks who've gotten a hold of the Necronomicon and are making ready to unleash... well, something! I mean, who knows? It could be anything, anything, do you hear?

Hang on to your Victrolas. There are young people out there doing things you don't understand!

P.S. : Yet from what I hear, this is supposedly still less painful than when Law&Order tried to get "cyber" apropos of gamergate. Oy vey.

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