Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Gay Rights

Gay rights have been in the news recently again. Let's see, what do I want to say about gay rights?
I don't care about gay rights. Stop bothering me about gay rights.

Unfortunately, I sorta kinda have to care, tangentially. The whole marriage equality issue is not a 'gays' issue but one of basic rights for any thinking being. When the people of Alpha Centauri colonize Mars and I fall madly in love with a five-eyed, three-handed, fuchsia-skinned plant-being, I don't want to have to raise our progeny of mutant podlings at an economic disadvantage because some government over-taxes us for not recognizing the validity of our mating. Equally, if Koko the gorilla's grand-daughters get smart enough to knuckle-drag into a courthouse and ask for a marriage license for their whole polygamous clan, we should not bat an eyelash at their right to be heard.

Overall I can't bring myself to feel much of anything about the gay rights non-issue either way, liberal or conservative. On one hand, I'm not gay, so what the hell do I care? On the other hand... marriage is stupid, and a lot more threatening to my sexuality than a few hundred joyful boys prancing down Main St., U.S.A. in speedos and glitter. They don't really affect me. I've long outgrown homophobia and am not repulsed by the idea of having sex with men in theory, but I've never found any attractive ones. We're slightly ridiculous-looking if you ask me. Women, on the other hand... aaaawwww, yeah, babay!
It's bad enough that women can twist my head off its socket just by walking in the room. It's downright terrifying that at some point in time I might also be pushed to surrender my material resources and freedom to one of them, to legally and economically subjugate myself to secure mating privileges. If anything ever makes me start, as the expression goes, "batting for the other team" it'll be the idea of a wedding, of prenuptial agreements, diamond engagement rings and being forced to watch 'The View'.

I do support equal marriage rights for gays, as a basic statement that costs me nothing to put out there. It's a no-brainer. While our society has marriage at all, it should be equal to any pairing of individuals capable of informed consent. But is it going to get my ass out of this chair and out to a rally? Probably not. 

Ah, but you know what I like about this? Conservatives keep whining about it. That's what gets me salivating. I don't agree that gay marriage weakens marriage as an institution - I think it's just more kow-towing to the outdated superstition of divine sanction. Marriage itself should be abolished, and reproduction both economically supported and restricted through official policy. That's hopefully somewhere in the future and has nothing to do with liking or disliking a pair of brides or a pair of grooms on a wedding cake. But the people who should by all rights be more intimately familiar with that topic than I am, the champions of church weddings, the bible-belters, stuffed shirts and other counter-revolutionaries seem to be terrified of homonuptials. And that puts me squarely in my enemy's enemy's corner.

Glitter on, my well-toned, overly-demonstrative brothers. Wolfie loves ya. Platonically.

Not to be accused of ignoring the lesbians, I give you the eternal male question: aaaaare you super-duper sure we can't change your mind? Really? Damn, ok. Get married to each other, whatever. Fine! See if I care.

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