+100 XP per fish knocked off bicycle

"They're gonna set you up
So they can take you down
They're gonna suck you dry
They've left the blood to be found
They're gonna rip you apart
You're gonna burn at the stake
Cos when it's time to collect
It's only heroes who pay"

 

Ministry - Hero

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"Men are more sentimental than women. It blurs their thinking."

from the Notebooks of Lazarus Long

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My recent jaunt through Black Legend produced a mixed bag of somewhat creative quest voiceovers alongside a now extremely tired, overused old plot twist and stock characters like the manic 'killumall' bombmaker NPC. So, yes, per obligatory tropes you also meet Stella, the dashing young heroine off to avenge her mother's death because her father's useless.

 

Naturally, like every other 'strong woman' example you meet in every game, she explicitly tells you she "doesn't need your help" right before you of course have no choice in completing the quest but helping her anyway, you filthy presumably male chauvinist pig, how dare you not lay down your life for those declaring you worthless? At least this time the burgeoning abusive relationship is not designated as a love interest.

 

Whenever one of these almighty action girls tells me she doesn't need my help (since every single fictional female can vanquish twenty men-at-arms at once with both tits tied behind her back) and acts insulted at my very presence, I should have the option to reply:

 

"Great then, fuck off ya bipolar tsundere bitch, why am I even talking to you?"

 

Then let me watch her Leeroy in and get her idiot head chomped off by a dragon like she deserves. That should be worth more XP than running slavishly after her to help her, and yield an achievement reading:

"Turns out the bicycle didn't need the fish, either."