Dabble Entendres

"I wanna blow you... away"

Avril Lavigne being less clever than the examples on this page in Things I'll Never Say

 

This just in: the Tolkien estate would like you to rigorous some mortis.

 

Actually I don't know where Standing Stone got that cavern's name, since neither word shows up in dwarvish translations that I can find, much less orcish ones, with the closest being the quenya for spikes or teeth. Like the films' crew, they were forced to reconstruct past what Tolkien himself provided into order to make a few phrases flow better in dialogue or the many added toponyms, and it may be pure gibberish as far as I know.

 

Which saps very little of its humor.

 

Much like a science fiction game inviting you to dock with Anakin's Crack.

 

 It's in the vicinity of Buttock.

And just opposite Cock-Lite.

It's damn near impossible to avoid double entendres, given how our glorious monkey brains bend toward the topic of naughty bits. It is perfectly mundane and factual that medieval men loved the feel of hoes on the crotch. They were very open-minded about it too: brown hoes, yellow hoes, decorated hoes, fashionable hoes, even loose hoes in a pinch... or lack thereof. But when you get to "tight black hose" come on, now you're doing it on purpose.

Hell, more often you don't even need words. I toyed with the notion of starting a campaign of Manor Lords, but couldn't stop giggling on seeing my family crest could be a frustrated purple cock in a shower of spermatozoa.

But it does seem that algorithmic content generation has concatenated many phrases which nobody would ever have considered before. Sometimes they can be innocent name pairings the likes of Jay Leno's Headlines segment.

well, he does love himself

While other times the algorithm gets weirdly and awkwardly expressive.

Oooh baby, I only boing for you

And let's admit that no matter how many "dirty" words you ban from your generator, you can never avoid the suggestive implications of endless word combinations which make up language as a whole.

 

Come on, you can't feed me a line like "danceoiled" or "narrow roughness"* and not expect me to complete the motion!

 

But if I've ever seen a game stumble head-first into this problem, it was Warframe, whose developers have a sense of humor about this sort of thing and so might've "accidentally" been a bit lax about pruning certain phonemes. A few years ago its "Kuva Lich" enemy generator launched complete with name generation, and given the names had to be short and guttural sounding, creations like Zoo Gangg, Bigg Horr, Ogg Fuhkk and Yirr Mahorr rapidly mounted. My own list, aside from more casual weirdness like two liches named Aff Egg and Obb Egg, also includes an Ugly Jaw and the family jewel of my collection:

Best part? It's a shotgun. It has a ball behind its thick stubby barrel. And the game now includes an enemy type called the "sisters" so I can officially declare I am spraying your sisters with my cohkk a nudi kohm!

 

As Yakko Warner might say: mwwwah! good night, everybody!

 

Do I have a point with all this? Well I sure as hell didn't start with one. I've just been sitting on these screenshots for years now. But if pressed to fabricate a moral to this story, it would concern those glorified chatbots everyone's calling generative AI. Please don't straightjacket them in fear they might say something suggestive. Let the darlings spew freely. First of all, you simply cannot prevent it. Second, it's freakin' hilarious.

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*Yes, Aaron Williams, Cac'toss Up'd'azz lives on!

P.S.:

If anyone doesn't recognize the games referenced, from top to bottom they're The Lord of the Rings Online, Stellaris, Kingdom Come: Deliverance, Manor Lords, Rimworld, Dwarf Fortress and Warframe. Titles like the world of rimming and the kingdom of coming are just glazing on the cake.