Athletic Swarm +1

I've picked up Skyrim again recently, determined to at long last work my way around to finishing the main quests. (I'm over level 100 and haven't ridden a single dragon yet. ("Muffle" that's how. (Shut up.)))

 

Inevitably, it brings to mind Morrowind, which was such a monumental accomplishment for its time, and its differences from Skyrim which is mostly just... eh, acceptable. I do miss spells like levitation, for instance, though I'll admit it would ruin Skyrim's more consistently low(er)-fantasy setting. Nothing breaks immersion in most settings quite like seeing people flitting around willy-nilly like drunken cherubs. On the flip-side of immersion, I don't miss the Athletics skill the least bit.

"Increase:

1 second of Swimming: +0.03
1 second of Running: +0.02"

 

Improving your running by running is perfectly logical. In fact it's pretty much fact. In a game though, getting points for walking ranks one of the most ridiculous notions possible, frequently mocked even by people who think nothing of shooting nuclear wands at space goblins with laser teeth. The problem isn't whether it fits the setting or not, but that characters should advance due to actions the player deliberately undertakes, not for merely performing basic protoplasmic functions. What's next? Experience points for hydrolysis? Ten donuts to level up?

 

Well, occasionally, yes, you do run into such stupidity.

 

 

Backtrack to last year when, not having played Magic:the Gathering since high school, I finally got into the online "arena" version to see what the kiddies are into these days. For the game which introduced most of us to the microtransaction system before it had a name, I was expecting a bit of escalation. It's hard to find any creatures without special abilities now, and drawing extra cards per round is pretty much a must. Some changes I find quite welcome (multicolor lands) while others have reminded me why I haven't considered MTG a worthwhile pastime since junior year lunch hour.

 

A perpetual problem in Arena, for several years from what I hear, has been lifelink procs. As a basic concept, players in MTG have 20 health each and use creatures and magic to whittle each other down to 0. With such a low starting total, anything which increases your life is obviously highly useful in itself. In other words, it's something you'd probably do anyway. So naturally instead of balancing against it, endless cards have been added which proc off life gain itself. I thought nothing could be dumber until a few months ago the "Landfall" ability came in, rewarding you for casting land cards - which, for a point of reference, you're expected to do on average at least once a turn. Scute Swarm is a particularly hilarious form of pandering, as it routinely allows you to instantly summon 8X 3/4 cards in turn 5 or 6 - this in a game with a 20-point base health total. To say nothing of the run-of-the mill free win cards like Victory's Envoy.

 

Mind you, the problem goes beyond imbalance, which is more or less a constant in online games. The trend that's made me grit my teeth over the past decade is a proliferation of "I win" buttons which don't even need to be pressed, which simply trigger automatically by performing feats as mundane and self-sufficient as walking. This is snowflake gaming: participation trophies, victories handed out simply for existing, just for you being you!

 

Not everything needs to be an idle game!