These days, university professors are afraid to even talk to students for being accused of "grooming them" for sexual shenanigans. (Because it obviously can't be the 20-year-olds who are the oversexed, transgressive ones.) I suppose they don't have that problem with me because I'm too old to be groomed. Old enough to groom myself.

Wow, how's that for the most passively microaggressive insult ever?
Go groom yourself!