Wednesday, April 22, 2015


Greetings, citizens.
I come before you today to speak of a dire plague afflicting our people. I speak of a disease which has run rampant through every human society since the dawn of time, turning the lives of individuals to helpless suffering and toil. It affects nearly the entire population, is incurable except by the most drastic, unethical and illegal measures and infects its victims for decades at a time, destroying what little ability for self-determination they may possess in the prime of their lives. It sentences sufferers to spend almost all of their time, energy and material resources addressing the manifold and grievous symptoms of their malady. It affects the young more than the old, the poor more than the rich, females slightly more than males and its incidence sadly has been correlated with certain ethnic and religious groups. It is even, to some extent, transmissible!

I speak, of course, of parenthood.

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