Thursday, April 2, 2015


"Why was it assumed that poverty gave one the instincts of cattle?"
"Civilization is the progress toward a society of privacy. The savage’s whole existence is public, ruled by the laws of his tribe. Civilization is the process of setting man free from men."

Ayn Rand - The Fountainhead

I had intended to write this post yesterday, as its subject matter consists of the sort of pop-culture drivel which seems like it must've started as a joke mistakenly taken seriously, or as all-out trolling. Sometime late last year we began to get the chance at rolling our eyes at the latest feminist gimmick for bashing men: manspreading. Move over, acid-burned women of the middle-east, there's a new symbol of gender injustice in town! Before long, the catchphrase had been pushed into public consciousness, being adopted by every left-wingnut desperate to score some hippie cred by adopting the politically correct stance, infecting even otherwise lucid social commentary like the Daily Show. After all, if it's a complaint about men by women, it must be justified, right? What the political correctness police are seeking however is not justice but entitlement, an excuse to bash men and claim moral superiority, however flimsy. Entitlement is addictive and PC addicts will all too gladly trample reason, fairness and perspective in seeking their next high.

However, let's ignore for a moment that we've all encountered women pretending to stare out a window while their purse claims the seat next to them. Let's grant that more men than women do it. Is taking up too much space on a subway bench a real issue? Hell, why not. We should all be fighting against the various indignities of daily life, so by all means, let's address the fact that using public transportation means being crammed into a piss-soaked tin can until the volume of human flesh rises so far above that of available air that you're all gulping up at the vents like goldfish. Pancaking oneself out on a bus seat may be an idiotic reaction but let's not ignore that it's a reaction to a disgusting state of affairs.

Existence is not communal. It's personal, individual. Yet communal life ceaselessly herds us into pens: cubicle farms, buses, cafeterias, waiting rooms and elevators in which, let's face it, someone always seems to have just farted. It's bad enough being crammed into a body without that body being crammed into the inimical mass of other ape bodies which under normal conditions we do our best to avoid. There's a long-running gag about men choosing urinals so as to stand as far from each other as necessary which has occasionally grown into some impressively detailed calculations. Good. We are not cattle. Using a public service should not entail subjecting oneself to, well, the public. Using a public restroom should not mean leaning on some random trucker's arm while you piss, and using public transportation should not entail being poked in the ribs by some bimbo's Macy's bags while she wiggles her fat ass against you trying to claim another inch of seat from under your own ass.

Males rebel faster. Males are less tolerant of the intolerable. Good. That's a point in our favor. The form that automatic, unthinking revolt has taken in this case, of taking up more space to discourage others from elbowing you in the ribs, is admittedly stupid. Know what's even dumber? It's the worthless xx-chromosomed cretins who see a packed bench and wedge in between people trying to fabricate space in violation of physical reality. It's the woman who sees a bus packed to the stairs and squeezes in anyway, looking at you accusingly because you fail at being a good sardine and sucking in your bones to make room for her. It's the chick with the ridiculous poofy hairdo poking up your nose and the opera singer resting her barely-hammocked tits on the back of your neck apparently expecting you to pay her for a lapdance.

Want to address the indignities and insufficiencies of public transportation? Write an angry letter to your city's transit authority and be willing to pay an extra dollar in taxes. However, if you're just looking to slam the everyday crowd making the worst of a bad situation, then in addition to manspreading you will have to address fempacking. Also, don't even dare tell me I'm citing ridiculous examples which rarely happen, you hypocritical dimwits.

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