I'm more of a Goya-supra-Giacometti

"A man does not insist on physical beauty in a woman who builds up his morale. After a while he realizes that she is beautiful - he just hadn't noticed it at first."

-from The Notebooks of Lazarus Long

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"Say goodbye to the one who's subordinate to the weak
Say goodbye to your fear and you finally will be free"

Aesthetic Perfection - A Quiet Anthem

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Let's see, how does that old joke go?

A guy begs one of his friends for help:

"Man, my wife's always complaining I'm not romantic enough, I don't compliment her enough."

"Hey, don't worry, just tell her she's got the face of a Botticelli and the body of a Degas."

Excited, the first man runs home and blurts out:

"Honey, you've got the body of a Botticelli and the face of a Degas!"

 

DuckDuckGo associates that phrase with the movie The Pick-Up Artist from the '80s, but I have no idea if it originated with or predated. What's great about it as a joke is that it can be written both ways. Botticelli's that "birth of Venus" guy but being active half a century before Michelangelo and Titian and their ilk, mostly stuck to strict churchy themes and while his human faces can look angelically serene, his human proportions/poses are a bit unnatural and relatively tame. Also, back then voluptuous chicks usually ranked sexier. Degas painted lithe, pretty young ballerinas but being an impressionist didn't quite detail their faces. So body B and face D could mean a curvaceous broad with the angelic, innocent face of a young girl... or it could mean an awkward body with a big gut and a smeared face. Body D and face B could mean a slim youthful figure and composed, seductive womanly beauty... or it could mean fat face on a little girl's body.

 

But it doesn't matter, does it? The real joke is that the guy's wife's gonna put him in the dog-house for getting it wrong (laugh, damn you) whichever way he says it. That's the punchline we're all waiting for; cackle and point your finger at that other man, always that other man, to prove your own devotion, your own willingness to chase the goal-posts she keeps moving on you. How many such jokes do we produce, non-stop, about men failing to flatter women to women's tastes? Fire up any sitcom, any romcom, any stand-up routine, any impulse magazine on the checkout rack. More importantly, reverse the polarity: how many jokes do we circulate about women being put in the dog-house for failing to flatter a man? What's that? Sorry, I don't speak cricket. What could she in turn possibly say to insult him into making her sleep on the couch, as if he had the power in the first place? What insult will he not swallow? Insulting his mother, to double down on the self-righteous juxtaposition? A man is only permitted to tell a woman "hop off your broom for a second" in defense of another woman.

 

If every book and movie contained nothing but jokes about hindus desperately trying to flatter christians and failing because hindus are such idiots, would that indicate hindus are more respected than christians?

If everything mocked "darkies" struggling to flatter their way into the hearts of whites and failing because blacks are such idiots, would that indicate blacks have greater status in our society and control over its culture?

How many centuries of such evident one-sided servility and mockery and maligned self-abnegation would it take to suggest to you the balance of power lies very much in the opposite direction?