Naive Little Pieces

"They'll never know where she got her weapon"

Kidneythieves - Arsenal

 

Hold it!

Stop everything, we need to address this very pressing issue.

Whenever cartoons, video games or whatever want to pepper their natural landscapes with something colorful that isn't flowers, they often default to the familiar white-speckled red mushroom. Case you didn't know, it's poisonous! Well, not horrifically poisonous... some even try to get stoned off it. Also, almost everyone already knows about it... but! But being colorful it attracts the attention of small children, whose low body mass increases the likelihood of a toxic dose. And here our entertainment products are promoting this vile peril!

I hereby decree that everything must be done to combat the menace of toadstools! All products featuring them must be yanked off the proverbial shelves and replaced with products promoting nice, safe tofu, which despite clearly being the superior foodstuff has been unfairly mocked and marginalized for generations. Obviously that toad-humper Mario's first on the chopping block.

What?

What're you looking at me like that for? Why are you not dropping everything to join my cause? Clearly my only course of action is to start an anti-muscarinic activist group and begin forming hashtag mobs to hound every author, every graphic artist, every movie and game studio until they conform to my demands for combatting shroom doom! Soon, I trust, a multibillion-dollar publicity campaign shall spring up, and any shroom sympathizers will be blacklisted as we righteous ones morally cleanse all media and all society beyond. All of society shall be defined by anti-toadstool, pro-tofu affirmative action.

 

Sound ridiculous?

Now consider this is an actual, verifiable, physical danger (children are in danger! won't somebody please think of the children?) not some nebulous "institutionalized prejudice" demonstrated by the fact I'm not king of the world yet.

 

On a completely unrelated note, The Lord of the Rings Online added Umbar in the last months. While less virulently stupid on average than the Gundabad zone's quests, whichever "writer" was responsible for the previous pile of garbage is obviously still on the payroll. Or at least one of them. Though, amusingly, her (safe to assume "her") influence is only discernible in unfiltered, unedited form in half a dozen quests on one isolated island in the earliest corner of Umbar. The good orcs are back:

 

And they still sound or act nothing like Tolkien's orcs but that's okay because we're standing up for marginalized minoritorcs and that's good because fantasy racism is bad, mmkaaay? Meanwhile the entire new main plot centers on a warrior princess countess baroness whateveress sailing off to save her kid while her husband repeatedly sings her praises. That at least could still be salvaged, but time will tell.

 

And of course the newest Dune adaptation needs to crank up Chani's appearances waaayyyy before she ever appears in the story. Is there anyone who didn't predict that utterly groundbreaking minority viewpoint?

And yes of course the latest Dominic Deegan chapter is some ridiculous conflation of fantasy dwarves with Taliban misogyny. What else could there be to talk about?

Or you could look at Baldur's Gate 3 whose companion roster permits nothing but sexy young bisexuals. At least its homognomos and trans-dimensional ringmaster don't take up the whole plot... but you do realize that shit ain't mandatory, right?

Not everything needs to be about the toad tofu.

Do none of you find it odd that in the name of diversity, every single one of you flaunts the exact same badge of moral superiority? Shemales and shefemales and the almighty glory of yaoi, all lightly dusted with melanin for a more exotic flavor? We used to express other themes in fiction! Strategic resource dependence, nuclear disarmament, EXPLORATION, the weighing of one's legacy against the public good, entitlement and modesty, the worth of a life, living a life of worth, fear both personal and societal and the overcoming of same, artistic expression, the environment, honor, compromise, industry and the working class, the yoke of material possessions, home and belonging, freedom vs. authority, safety vs. adventure, superstition vs. reason, future vs. present, crime vs. oppression, snobs vs. slobs, tradition vs. adaptation, intellectual isolation, integrity and the isolation that comes with it in turn, driving passions beyond sexual pair-bonding like revenge or greed or fanaticism (though I can see why the snowflakes of all people would want to dodge discussing that last one) or fuck it, anything, anything, ANYTHING other than yet another garish little wail and moan about the evil oppressive patriarchy and female empowerment!

 

When every. single. mother.fuckin. book/movie/comic/game/painting/song/tweet or particularly melodious fart must in every instance pay homage to your desire for more power, you already hold all the power. And what are you doing with it? What is our society's net cultural output channeled towards under your absolutist control? Endlessly complaining that you don't have enough power!

Of course the real mafioso grave-digging sadistic twist of this gigantic moral cleansing campaign lies in who's actually doing the work. 'Cause for the most part it ain't the trannies. It's heterosexuals promoting homosexuality, men glorifying women and white guilt to the thousandth generation, all of them brainwashed, bullied and blackmailed with the threat of blacklisting into producing racist, sexist propaganda against themselves.

 

There is no surprise as to the provenance of her weapon. He made it, loaded it and handed it to her.