Cutting through the Treacle: Beehooold : !

"Every little thing

Every little thing
Every little thing she does is magic magic magic 
Magic maaagic maaaaaagiiic"

The Police - Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic

Intrigued by Shadowrun Returns a couple of weeks ago, I decided to jump into the developer's newest production, Battletech. Long story short: decent, but far from great. More on that later. For now, let us merely bask in the magnificence of Battletech's pop-up messages.

Is it not glorious, dear reader? Does it not instill in you a burning desire to halt whatever you were doing, to put all your schemes and plots and carefully laid battle plans on hold only to bask in this message's immanence? Let it be known throughout the land that now is -- YOUR TURN -- and lest ye be tempted to dispute the fact it shall be interposed betwixt thou and thy battlefield at least every four combat actions, five phases a turn every single turn, every single mission on every single planet. And! - as if such bounteous forewarning were not enough, you also get to hail the proclamation of -- ENEMY TURN -- in between each of yours. Are you not tempted to fall to your knees and give praise to such transcendent artistry?
...
No? You're not?
Me neither, actually.

I mean, the enemy usually gives a subtle hint when its turn starts by firing swarms of missiles at my head. It's a bit of a giveaway. But alright, realistically conceding the wisdom of clearly announcing whose turn it is, there's no excuse for interposing such announcements between the player and the game, forcing a gratuitous pause at the start of every single turn. Plenty of turn-based strategy games achieve the same effect by simply blanking out or hiding a few interface buttons while the AI is moving, or by floating a message which doesn't interfere with the interface, without forcing the player to wait or click through pop-ups. Of course, making the player wait is half the point.

This is pre-game team selection in League of Legends. Actually it's the pre-pre-game pre-selection ban phase. The enemy team's five bans could very easily be displayed all at once in an instant. Instead you're made to wait a couple of seconds as the cards flip over one by one. LoL is full of such padding, especially (and not coincidentally) when it comes to opening your rewards. Loot which could just as easily be automatically added to your account without fanfare instead comes in boxes which have to be opened deliberately, twirling, clanking, chiming, shining, flashing through seconds-long animations while lasciviously pulsating counters scroll up through resource numbers like pinball scores.

The similarity is, again, anything but accidental. I could see several causes to such shameless exhibitionism in game interfaces. In a practical sense, adding complexity to displays can certainly widen the scope of what can be displayed, so there is some intrinsic justification to taking one's time and making sure the message gets across. However, it's also true that graphic designers have to justify their existence... somehow... and so long after a product passes the point of convenience and ease of use, its layout will continue to be altered, constantly, overburdened with gratuitous art major foppery. Moreover, it's also true that games like League of Legends which target a simpleminded, ignorant younger audience are always trying at the same time to simplify their product and to shoehorn in addictive hooks to retain said audience in the absence of novelty or complexity. Pinball, pachinko, slot machines, aces and queens flipping over dramatically in a video poker machine, they all bear a striking similarity to online games' pulsing, flashing, chiming loot crates.

Our brains are built not only to value rewards but to anticipate them, to reward themselves via the thrill of discovery whether it's a monkey questing for fruit among the leaves of a tree or a naked ape tracking the transit of a metal ball among plastic levers and barriers. Simply dropping the ball into the hole would be nowhere near as fun. It's the uncertainty of the outcome and its flamboyant build-up which amplify that little dopamine spike which spells excitement, and which by repetition yields addiction.

It does have more legitimate uses as well. Anticipation can add a bit of gravitas to most events, give us that sense of "oh boy, here it comes, here it comes!" Nevertheless it's a tool whose costs have to be weighed. Gratuitous use or overuse simply wastes your customers' time, second by second of those momentously flipping cards or looming announcements. As with ideograms, remember that notifications and menus should illustrate the interactivity which provides such an entertainment product's chief entertainment value and not obscure it. Your interface is supposed to allow me, the customer, to control the game, not simply serve as some art major's masturbatory aid like all the overextended animations in Battletech.

At this point I have to admit an even baser use for them is possible: the time-wasting isn't a bug, it's a feature, it's a theatrical timesink meant to mask the gameplay's various lacks. I'm guessing the "speed up combat" setting was implemented after the millionth customer complaint, but how the hell did none of your playtesters convince you it was a problem in the first place?

I know enough to expect this sort of cheap gimmickry from the likes of LoL, but Battletech was published by Paradox, whose own Europa Universalis made a selling point of allowing the player to customize pop-ups or pauses for every type of in-game event.

They're supposed to know better.