Dear readers, I come to you today in the spirit of abject penitence, and should my crimes warrant banishment I shall gladly step aside for whichever free-associating scifi fan strategy gamer you choose to replace me, and pen an apologetic memoir available at fine book$tores everywhere. With regret, nay, shock, just this morn I googled upon the incriminating discovery that the smash hipregrocrap hit from the nineties which for thirty years I have been referencing in conversation as "Mr. Bombastic" was in truth called "Mr. Boombastic"! I hereby offer my heartfelt and most supplicant apologies to Mr. Boom and the noble, marginalized Bastic lineage* for this unconscionable, decades-long shoah of microaggressions, whereby I, from my position of institutionalized White Zombie fan privilege, didst perpetuate the detestable alt-rock bom libel.
This is what you cretins sound like! ^
Woke insanity has seen a bit of push-back over the past year or more, so maybe it's finally subsiding. Mockery like the above of opportunistic, disingenuous posturing shows up in comedy bits with more frequency, and more true believers seem to be realizing their past fifteen years' anti-white, anti-straight, anti-male witch hunts have served only the interests of morally bankrupt, self-aggrandizing null entities like Claudine Gay.
However, I don't want this awareness of special interest group rabblerousing to merely be swept under pop culture's Shaggy rug like last month's pop stars. It should stay with us. And so I have a request for the youth of today, for GenZ and whatever we're calling infants now. Luckily it's something at which teenagers have always excelled throughout history: never let your parents forget what idiots they've been!
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* Marginalized, yeah, when's the last time you actually heard that song? Also, I did see he called himself "shaggy" but I thought the aburdist angle came through amply enough without involving crime-solving great danes. Also "Boom and the Basstics" would make a good '70s/'80s cover band name.
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